Tutto Bene

LOCATION: Bologna, waiting to board train to Verona
Last night's show: Bologna (Palamalaguti)

Setlist:Elderly Woman, Do the Evolution, Animal, Severed Hand, Given to Fly, World Wide Suicide, Save You, Even Flow, I am Mine, Marker in the Sand, Green Disease, Daughter/Italian It's Ok, Alone, Whipping, Present Tense, Comatose, Porch
1st Encore: Black, Betterman, Life Wasted, Alive
2nd Encore: Bu$hleaguer, Why Go, Baba O'Riley, Indifference

The circumstances that begun and ended last night's show were a nightmare! The venue in Bologna was way out of the city center--it's location reminded me of Continental Arena in East Rutherford. People say it's still considered NYC but it's not....and Palamalaguti was not in Bologna! There was a shuttle bus that had special services to and from the show. We got our tickets and started to wait on line to board it around 5 pm and thought it would give us plenty of time to arrive for 10c entry. Well, we didn't take into account that there would be a mob of people with our same plans in mind. There was one bus every 20 minutes and we couldn't get on the first one because it was jammed - worse than the 6 train at rush hour. After waiting for 20 Italian minutes, which roughly translates to about 35 real minutes, we were finally able to get on one. Between the traffic, the distance and the rain, we didn't make it to the venue until 7pm. When we got our wristbands and went to the 10c gate, we were told it was closed and had to go in with the non 10c ticket holders (psssh, don't they know who we are!?!?;) The line to get into the gate was ridiculous. There was one door open per gate, a massive amount of people and it was beginning to pour. It took us at least 45 minutes to get in and by the time we did, MMJ was almost done with their set.

Palamalaguti is enormous. It feels like a stadium when you walk in and I thought there was no way it would get filled to the end. I had decided that I wasn't going to be neither up front nor in the middle. My experience in Buenos Aires dictated that and I wasn't about to feel that crushing sensation again. I made my way up front but to the side, where I had a sliver of a stage view. When the lights went down and Master/Slave came on, the place erupted. The audience started their soccer chant, which is the same as in Switzerland (oooooooooohhhhhhhhh) and when the band appeared, Ed got to his mic and chanted with them.

Elderly Woman opened the show and the audience pretty much took over the beginning of the song. It felt as if every single person in the now fully packed arena was singing along. I made my way further up until I reached a side gate and stayed there through DTE, but because I had absolutely no view, I decided I'd try and sneak upstairs to the side seating area. I passed the gate and was making my way in when I was stopped by a guard. Now, because I speak Spanish I can toy around with Italian and have been doing so up until now. But with this guy, I thought I'd play a doesn't-have-a-clue tourist. After a brief interaction, I managed to convince him to let me in (nothing a smile can't get you in Italy!). When I got in, everyone was on their feet in the aisle and on the rail, and again, I could not see anything. When I looked to my left, I saw none other than Mirella, who helps run Bugs. I had never met her but I had seen her picture. I slowly made my way over to her and asked her if she was who I thought she was and she said yes. I told her I was Wanda from New York and she gave me the biggest hug and invited me to join her and Dennis. I wedged myself between them, and finally, I had a GREAT view.

Everyone thought the show was incredible. For some reason, I had preferred Bern's first set to this one, but the crowd was overwhelmingly louder tonight. Looking out into the sea of people on the floor was incredible and scary at the same time - whenever a really hard one would come on, the swaying was almost too much to bare.

Before Even Flow, Ed took a moment to speak to the audience, grabbing his Italian 'cheat sheet'! Judging from their reaction, they loved whatever it was he said. They went right into the song after that, and like with most well-known songs, the audience exploded. When Daughter came on, I was really hoping for an 'It's Ok' tag, and when we heard the opening notes, Mirella and I looked at each other with a child-like grin. When I saw Ed grab his sheet, I knew we were going to get it in Italian as he did in Spanish in Mexico City last year. When it started, he looked at his sheet and sang, 'Tutto bene,'. He then pointed to the audience and repeated, 'Tutto beneeeeee'. It didn't last too long and I wasn't sure the audience was really familiar with it! The 2nd encore opened with Bu$hleaguer and Ed came out with his mask, his glitzy jacket and his cigarette - the fans LOVED it. Other than the costume, the best part of the song was when everyone sang together, 'the haves have not a fucking clue.'

The highlight for me was, of course, Indifference. I wasn't thinking about it at all, when after Baba O'Riley (just like at East Rutherford) Jeff took his seat and strung the opening bass. I got the same feeling as last time, and I leaned down and told Mirella that this was my favorite song. After the crowd sang the last verse, she glanced up at me and all she could say was, 'I'm so happy for you...'

The ride back was as much of a nightmare as getting in. By the time we found the shuttle stop it was about 11:30 and it was cold and raining. For whatever reason, the bus company decided to send one bus at a time despite the throngs of people waiting to get on one. Everytime one would pull up, everyone would rush and push their way on. What I feared would happen at the show, ended up happening in the parking lot! We must have missed at least three more buses and were waiting until 1:00 am. By that time, I was soaking wet and freezing, refusing to get in a cab because I knew it would be insanely expensive (and there is no farina here). A handful of us waited while a bus rep sat in his car, warm and dry, barely giving us details.

I finally got back to my hotel at 1:30, and it's safe to say that I have no desire whatsover to ever return to Palamalaguti.

Bern

LOCATION: Train en route from Bern, Switzerland to Bologna, Italy
Last night's show: Bern (Bern Arena)

Setlist:
Go
Animal
World Wide Suicide
Severed Hand
Hail Hail
Dissident
Breakerfall
Evenflow
Glorified G
Elderly Woman....
Sleight of Hand
Jeremy
Marker in the Sand
Betterman
Army Reserve
Satan's Bed
You Are

Encore 1
Garden
Low Light
Do the Evolution
Alive

Encore 2
Last Exit
Why Go
Rockin'in the Free World
Yellow Ledbetter
Little Wing (Sung)

We're passing through the Swiss Alps right now, and the scene is unreal. It's a sobering reminder of how small we really are compared to nature. We're surrounded by snow-capped mountain peaks and rolling hills on both sides, and the wooden houses that are scattered around seem miniscule, too, when set against the backdrop of the alps. I swear at any moment Julie Andrews is going to appear singing!!!

It feels like we're on Amazing Race: Pearl Jam Edition. Because of the show schedules, its obvious we will be running from city to city without having much free time to venture out. I was in Bern less than 24 hours and will spend the same amount of time in Bologna. This, of course, means a lot of sightseeing has to be made up during our off days, which there aren't many of.

Last night was our first show, and it was an awesome start. I met Warren in Bern, and after settling in, we headed over to the arena around 5pm. On the 10c line, we ran into a friend of his who didn't know he'd be here. Jess is the female equivalent of Warren. She is a walking, talking database of facts and set lists - last night marked her 92nd show.

I was happy to learn that the entire venue would be general admission, not just the floor. We all agreed that the best thing to do would be to grab seats on the side of the stage so we'd be close and have a good view. When we walked in, though, we saw that the stage was set up differently. Instead of being at the tale end of the arena, it was right in the middle, up against the seats on the side. Because of this, the floor was a lot smaller than normal. Seats to the left or right of the stage would be too far, so we opted to sit directly behind the floor. This was a perfect choice, because our view was amazing.

Once seated, we met this couple from Washington, who had traveled to Switzerland and were continuing throughout Italy. We were all exhausted from traveling and our energy was seriously dwindling even through My Morning Jacket's set, so we had to resort to Red Bull to pick us up. After MMJ's performance, we were wired - but we knew it wasn't just the Red Bull kicking in.

Although we weren't expecting it to be, this show was amazing. We all thought the first set was unreal and the audience really surprised us. They were trickling in up to 15 minutes before PJ took the stage, so we were concerned they wouldn't be as into it or as loud as they turned out to be. Jess and I were hoping for a slow opener, but once Go came on we forgot all about it - the audience and the band's energy was non-stop after that. This was their first time in Bern, and it was great to see that they didn't only play their better-known songs. I think we all agreed that Alive was the highlight of the show. The audience's reaction and their participation was unlike any I've seen or heard, and Warren and Jess (who collectively have 152 shows between them!!) agreed. During the show, we ended up sitting on the wall that separated the seats from the floor, and during Alive, we could feel everything shaking.

We were kind of hoping for a longer 2nd encore, but didn't get it. At the end of Yellow Ledbetter, Mike started in on Little Wing. Towards the middle of it, he looked over to Ed and Ed gave him a 'sure, why not' shrug. He then began the lyrics and sang for several verses. Once he was done, he walked over to the side of the stage, bummed a cigarette off of someone, and watched Mike's solo fade.

Next stop: Bologna

"Up here so high I start to shake"

September 12, 2006
LOCATION: "The Sky I Scrape", En route from New York to Zurich, Switzerland on board Swiss Air

I picked the wrong time to start on this entry, as they've just asked us to fasten our seat belts because we'll be hitting 'a little bit' of turbulence and it could get bumpy. Since I'm scared of flying, people are often surprised I love to travel and do it so much. It never fails-every time I book a trip I start to dread the flight the second I hit 'accept' on my order. Each time I step foot on a plane, its as if I'm doing it for the first time. But, I always figure its worth enduring a couple of anxiety-ridden hours for the chance to explore other countries (and see Pearl Jam overseas). My seat tonight is awful. I really hate having other passengers on either side of me, not only because I can't lay out or get comfortable, but also because before I take-off, I engage in a number of rituals that involve meditation, stretching, prayer and a systematic arranging and re-arranging of my carry-on. I sound like the ideal travel partner, don't I?!? Additionally, these seats are packed tight and I'm convinced the guy next to me is reading this as I type it. DUDE, if you're reading this, PLEASE STOP!!

Today was quite eventful, even before leaving the States. In the morning while on my way to work, I saw my bus and thought it was about to leave. I started running in my flip flops so I wouldn't miss it. Next thing I know, my foot steps in a hole in the ground and I began stumbling for what felt like eternity. While my body was desperately trying to regain its balance, my mind was racing, "Oh my God, Europe. PLEASE don't break anything, please don't break anything." I'm thinking this as I'm coming face-to-face with the concrete and sure enough, SPLAT! I fell onto my hands, stomach and knees and was sprawled out in the middle of E. 72nd St. I lay face down for a few seconds because I could barely move, when this man came over and asked if he could help. Not wanting to get hit by an oncoming car (THAT would have really ruined my trip), I forced myself up and over to the corner. I realized there were at least a dozen people around me when I fell and more when I got up. I never wanted to admit this about my beloved NYC, but the people can be pretty cold and heartless, man. Only one person came over to help me and even after he did, he wanted to tell me about the time he fell. Once I got to the bus, which wasn't, in fact, leaving for another 5 minutes, I told the driver what happened and he told me to clean myself up while he waited for me. When I got on, he didn't charge me for the ride. He must've been from another borough.

In addition to that, my iPod died right in time for a 7 hour flight and countless more hours on trains and buses. I was really looking forward to getting pysched for the shows by listening to a few boots, but I guess I'll have to settle for the real deal come the evenings ;) So, I'm bruised, battered and swollen, I have no iPod and my backpack weighs more than I do. Not the ideal start to a journey, but we'll see where the day takes me.

".....I'll see you on the other side"

Dare I say it? The waiting has been driving us mad and the moment we've been desperately looking forward to all summer is upon us. Although I'll be the one documenting this journey, I keep saying 'us' because I'll be meeting up with a bunch of fans and will get to share this adventure with them. I'll mainly be hanging out with my buddy Warren and Decides2Dream (from the message pit), both of whom I met while on line for Irving Plaza. Warren can spit out setlist facts like there's no tomorrow. He's like Rainman for the Pearl Jam aficionado - fascinating, yet scary. And Dream? She has single-handedly coordinated pre and post meetups for all five Italian gigs. So that leaves me - bookmarked between a fine Pearl Jam educator and a bolt of lightning from Long Island, New York - my fingers are crossed for MOTH at Milan just for her. I've made final plans to meet-up with several European fans (many of whom have my tickets!) and I can't wait to share with you what they tell me about seeing Pearl Jam through their eyes. So ..... here we go!

September 13, Bern Bern Arena
September 14, Bologna PalaMalaguti
September 15, Travel to Verona
September 16, Verona Arena di Verona
September 17, Milan Forum
September 18, Travel to Torino
September 19, Torino Palaisozaki
September 20, Pistoia Duomo Square
September 21, On the European Touring Bus to Prague
September 22, Prague Sazka Arena
September 23, Berlin Wulheide

Untitled

When lyrics take on a new meaning...... thank you, e.f.




"It's been two years
it feels like home
things can be the same wherever you go
i'll miss you when i'm gone
oh, you can phone me at home
if i go i don't want to feel alone
let's get away
have some drinks
light my smoke
it's all about the simple things
the lucky ones
oh they are all in love
if i go i don't want to go alone
with you i could never feel alone"

Ten Band @ BB King's: 9/2/06

As if I wasn’t going to get my fill of Pearl Jam in less than two weeks, I decided to catch a Ten Band performance on Saturday night at BB Kings in Times Square. Despite the stormy weather, the guys had a great turnout and put on an incredible show. If anyone in the audience had any reservations about a Pearl Jam tribute band, they were silenced that night. The crowd was rockin’ out to every one of the 19 songs played, and some guys up front even brought a bottle of red to offer the band’s frontman, Nick Rhodes, in between songs.

I had the chance to sit down with the band before their show and talk to them about their performances, their plans and their seemingly never-ending love for Pearl Jam. Here’s a glimpse of what they had to say.

wanda medina: How and when did you guys start ‘Ten Band’?

todd kaczorowski (Bass): Craig Resnick (Rhythm Guitar) and I were writing original music and looking out for band members but we were having some challenges keeping all that together. One night I was driving home and was talking to a friend that was in a tribute band and thought that might be fun. I started thinking about it and thought there was only one band I could pay tribute to. Everyone always said everything I wrote sounded so much like Pearl Jam and Jeff Ament’s, so I called Craig and told him this was what I wanted to do and he was down with it - that was in February 2003. We got together 15 songs and went out and played. We had a huge first night, put up a website and then all of a sudden people from all over started calling.

ray jones (Drums): I’ve known Todd since he was 12 in Pittsburgh. We were in a band together in high school but we went off and did our own thing. He approached me and asked if I wanted to join and I said yeah because I was a big Pearl Jam fan. At the time I was playing in other bands and gave up a lot of them to be in this one.

nick rhodes (Vocals): After ‘Riot Act’ broke up (*Nick was RA’s lead singer) I went to their [Ten Band’s] website and loved it. I found out that the singer was not part of the band anymore, and so I emailed Todd and asked if I could come down for an audition. I sent him a tape of me singing PJ karaoke and they liked what they heard. They asked me to come down, so I went over to Ray’s basement, played a bit and they offered me the position.

wm: Do you remember what songs you played?

nr: We played Once.

wm: Was that it?

nr: That was it.

wm: How do you choose which songs to cover?

tk: Well first of all, you have to play the songs that are on the radio, we’re on top of that right away. I watch the bulletin boards and all the sites, and start to get a vibe for what everyone’s favorite song is and try to give that to them.

wm: Did you guys cheat and listen to any of the leaks for the new album before it was officially released?

tk: Yeah, we had to. We had ‘World Wide Suicide’ before it was released. We were jammin’ on it and figured it out. Not only did we have it and had learned the song but we had also performed it once before it even hit the radio.

wm: Venue and market are obviously important for any band. Is there more pressure to play in a city like New York than somewhere like Mobile, Alabama? Are the fans more skeptical?

tk: Every place you go they’re skeptical. First of all, there’s a stigma with a cover band or tribute band. Most of the people that come out to see us, their first thought is “These guys are gonna suck and I can’t wait to rip them apart.” You have to go out and just bring it really hard the first few songs and let people know that we’re serious and we’re pretty good musicians. If you watch the boards, they are critical of the idea, but we’re not trying to be the band and we’re not making any money off of them. Any money we get is only to cover our expenses, so for us its truly just the chance to party with the fans.

rj: I’ve never thought of that. It’s more like we’re just entertainers for the party. We’re all fans. [Pearl Jam’s] not at our back door every time -- they haven’t even come to New York City this year, so its just a chance for everyone that likes them to get a little fix and have a little party.

wm: How did you hook up with the Wishlist Foundation and the CCFA?

tk:. The ability to give back is something we’ve always enjoyed doing. I’ve never heard of another band that had a fan group that formed a charitable foundation on behalf of the band. I thought it was a way cool idea, so I called Laura (of the Wishlist Foundation) and told her whatever she needs to let us know. We helped out in Pittsburgh during the pre-show parties. We’ve come up with this idea for merchandising and all proceeds will benefit Wishlist. There was also a Guitar World special called Guitar Legends that featured Pearl Jam and they called us. They heard all our mp3s and were so excited about Dave (Lewetag, Lead Guitar). They gave us all kinds of kudos on that and wanted us to be a part of the special [in an ad]. So what I thought was well if we’re gonna be a part of it why don’t we donate the ad space back to Wishlist?

wm: If Pearl Jam didn’t exist, is there another band you could see yourself covering?

rj: I wouldn’t mind being in a Police, Led Zeppelin or a Soundgarden cover band.

craig resnick: Definitely The Police.

tk: We talk about this every once in a while, the only one I could do well would be Soundgarden or Stone Temple Pilots. I’d love to be in a Zeppelin tribute but i can’t play that well!

"Yeah, take a train (take a train), fly by plane (fly by plane)"

Only three weeks left for the start of my Pearl Jam European tour. Hard to believe, but everything is pretty much set. Truth be told, I really have no business going on this trip. I'm supposed to be saving to go to Australia to visit a friend next year. When Pearl Jam announced their European tour, all I could think of was how amazing it would be to see them overseas. I'd seen them in Buenos Aires and the energy of a foreign audience is incomparable. It's not that they are more into the band than we are here at home - far from it. But it is, inarguably, an entirely different vibe. I don't know if its because they don't get to see them as much as we do and the anticipation erupts in unprecedented ways, but you just can't listen to "Do The Evolution" the same way after you've been a first-hand witness to an Argentine audience singing the guitar parts.

I'd met a few people on the dreaded 18 hour wait on line for the Irving Plaza ticket (worth every second) and two of them had booked their trips to Italy. As the months progressed and I started seeing the venues, I began getting THAT feeling and I started toying around with the idea of going. Around the same time, I began a project about Pearl Jam fans that will one day, hopefully, make its way into print. What better justification could I have? I'd be traveling, talking to fans and doing research. This isn't some excuse to bum around Europe for two weeks and see a bunch of shows - it's work, right? RIGHT.

So after much deliberation, I closed my eyes and booked the trip. What was supposed to be just Italy turned into Bern, Italy, Prague and Berlin. Everyone who knows me well knows I just love to add notches onto my travel belt, and I had already been to Italy. I mean, while I'm there I might as well check out other places, right? RIGHT. Budget-wise it would not be easy. I tried getting a hostessing job to make extra cash but that fell through, and between working full-time and writing on the side, adding something else to my schedule would be a nightmare. I'd have to make due with what I could. So as I've done in the past when I got wanderlust at an inopportune time i.e. when I was broke, I started cutting back on luxuries like taking the bus and eating. Well, ok, I eat. You'd be surprised at how much money you can save by walking to and from work and bringing your lunch everyday and (no shit!) cooking at home. So once again, I turned to the Farina to suppress my hunger and my desire to order from Barking Dog every other night (if you're ever in NYC, they have the BEST burgers). Ramen noodles is for the college kids, so a few years ago I upgraded to Farina. Curious? Well, the box will give you explicit recipe details using water and salt. I've never, ever had it with such ingredients, so I make it the way my Mom used to make it for me when I was little. Of course, she also let me have espresso or cafe con leches before school, so this recipe ain't for everyone:

Milk - 1% or Skim, if like me, your metabolism has ceased to exist (This could be due to the Barking Dog)
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter 'Light' Vegetable Spread (Real butter is a fine substitute, but I had to quit once I hit 30. See above)
Sugar (No, it doesn't negate the purpose of the first two ingredients; a teaspoon of sugar only has 15 calories!)
Farina

Pour a good amount of milk into a saucepan, add a teaspoon of the 'butter' spread, and two teaspoons of sugar. Bring to a boil and lower the temperature. Depending on the consistency you prefer (thick or light), add the Farina by pouring it in for a few seconds, stirring the entire time. Bring to a boil again and reduce the heat and keep stirring! This is important, because if you don't stir, you'll get a bunch of clumps (they're not as bad as they sound). Stir for about a minute and it should be set! Let it cool off and enjoy. You can have it for breakfast, lunch and/or dinner and it should be paired with a fine pulp-free glass of OJ. I'm totally serious.

Anyway....how I've managed to digress from my PJ tour to my penny-pinching methods is beyond me. So everything's in place. I've managed to score an extra ticket to all the shows thanks to this awesome community. We've booked our hostels/hotels and have begun mapping our journey. This trip will be a far cry from my first backpacking experience with my best friend when we just went where the day took us. Because of the shows, time is of the essence and I'd rather be soaking up the culture than looking for an Albergo that has vacancies.......What I mean is, I'd rather be interviewing fans than soaking up the culture AND looking for a place to crash! I'll be jumping on the European Touring Bus from Pistoia, Italy to Prague. The bus was organized by the lovely Pinon and I can't wait to meet everyone on board. I'll have my laptop with me so I'll try to post frequently with updates on our whereabouts, the shows and our adventures following Pearl Jam around Europe. So check back often to see where we are and how far a tight budget and a hungry spirit takes us.

DOWNTOWN
Top to Bottom:
Arch: Washington Square Park, West Village
Fanelli Cafe: Prince & Mercer, Soho
Trash & Vaudeville: St. Mark's Place, East Village

Ferrocarril Oeste Stadium, November 26, 2005
Buenos Aires, Argentina

Street Wall, Buenos Aires, Argentina

East Rutherford 1

I had a feeling tonight’s show was going to be extra special. I had one of my best friends with me, Nic, who's been a long-time fan and took me to see my first concert. We’d gone to see the shows in Argentina together, but she had not been able to go to any on this tour. Seeing a show without her never felt right, so that alone made it a great start. I got to see a number of people I’ve been lucky to meet through this extraordinary community such as Jez and her friends, as well as the guy I met while on line at Tower, Warren and his buddy Neal. I even got in touch with a friend I hadn’t seen in two years. Although I was engrossed in a number of conversations with everyone, the only thing on my mind was “will they play it tonight?”

Those closest to me know that I have been desperate to hear ‘Indifference’ live. It is, hands down, one of my top favorites - if not THE favorite. Its lyrics, its melody and its symbolism grab me in a way very few songs ever have, possibly with the exception of Nina Simone’s ‘Four Women.’ I won’t divulge the specific reasons behind my fascination with ‘Indifference’, for they are far too personal. But I will say that it was this song that turned me from a casual fan to a I’m-flying-to-a-different-continent-to-see-them fan. It was this song that comforted me when nothing else would and gave me strength when everything else failed.

Obviously this isn’t a rare song and the chances of hearing it were not that bad. But given my late start as a fan, my chances weren’t as great as they could have been in the past. On this tour, it was not played at the shows I attended, so every time I’d see it on another city’s setlist, I’d cringe. And of course, Theo Epstein requests ‘Indifference’ and he gets ‘Indifference’. But I am no Theo Epstein.

The performance was extraordinary from start to finish. After an exhilarating first set, I was ready for them to slow things down a bit in the first encore. If they were going to play it at all tonight, I was expecting it during this set. I was so happy to hear ‘Come Back,’ because its one of Nic’s favorites off the new album and she really wanted to hear it played. I was floored by Footsteps; at the end when I saw Stone switch guitars, I thought it would be really cool to hear ‘Once’ next and then ‘Alive.’ Sure enough, that’s how it happened and I was really excited to have heard the trilogy in reverse.

When they finished ‘Alive’ and walked off after Ed’s very scary slip, I thought my hopes of hearing ‘Indifference’ tonight had ended. For whatever reason, I just figured they’d finish the last set fast and hard. Once ‘Leash’ began, my suspicions were confirmed and I thought, “Ok, here’s hoping to Saturday.” The lights came on and so did ‘Baba O’Riley’. All thoughts of indifference faded and I succumbed to this magical song and the power of seeing everyone in the arena going crazy.

When ‘Baba’ was done, I noticed that Jeff took a seat and thought it was odd that he’d sit during ‘Yellow Ledbetter’. All of a sudden, I heard one note played and it sounded exactly like the opening bass to ‘Indifference’.

“No Way,” I thought. It must be my desire playing tricks on me. But that was in fact what it was. When the song began, my heart sank. It was being played!! As bizarre as it sounds, my hands began to quiver and I got a surge of adrenaline - but a very peaceful one, if such a thing exists. I didn’t know what to do with myself! Do I clap? Do I scream? Do I sing? I was literally shaking. And then I just stood there and soaked it all in and mouthed the lyrics along with thousands of others. When Ed stood back and let the crowd sing “I will scream my lungs out ‘till it fills this room” I got the kind of chills I didn’t think I was capable of getting. Someone said they saw me crying, but that wasn’t true. Ok, it was. They played it just as I had imagined and seeing everyone while it was being sung made it all the more special.

When it was done, I saw Ed gathering his notebook and his wine. I saw the guys waving goodbye, but I couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Surely they were going to close with ‘Yellow Ledbetter’, weren’t they? But where were they going? And that’s when it hit me - what were the chances that this would happen?

With the lights on, my song had just closed the show. Thank you, good night.

Mothers of the Disappeared

During Argentina's 'Dirty War' of the 1970's, between 10,000 and 30,000 innocent people died at the hands of a military junta. Mostly students, trade union leaders and human rights workers, the victims were kidnapped, tortured and murdered. Countless were drugged and thrown into the frigid waters of Buenos Aires' Rio Plate.

On a Thursday afternoon in April 1977, 14 mothers marched on the capital's Plaza de Mayo and demanded answers to the whereabouts of their children. Little by little, their numbers grew and they marched every week in their iconic white handkerchiefs. Till this day, dozens of mothers who lost their children three decades ago march every Thursday at 3:30 pm on the same spot in front of the capital's famed Casa Rosada.

In November 2005, I was in Buenos Aires and had the opportunity to witness these protests. The Mothers set up a table off the side of the plaza, distributing pamphlets and information. There, I had the chance to speak to one of them and learn a little bit about one of the many tragic stories that plague the city’s history.

Augustina’s daughter, Maria Isabel, disappeared 28 years ago. She was a law student who was 25 when she went ‘missing.’ Augustina has attended the protests on a weekly basis for nearly three decades. Through heart-wrenching investigations and an indomitable spirit, she has been able to find out where her daughter was kept prisoner, and has come close to finding out what happened to her.

I asked Augustina if she would ever give up her cause. Without hesitation, she told me that she will come here every Thursday until she dies. I have no doubt that she will continue to march even if she should receive the answers her heart so desperately seeks.

WEBSITE: www.madres.org
READ:
Mothers of the Disappeared by Jo Fisher
Circle of Love Over Death: The Story of the Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo by Matilde Mellibovsky
Imagining Argentina by Lawrence Thornton.
SEE:
Imagining Argentina, the screen adaptation of the novel by the same name. Released in 2003, starring Emma Thompson and Antonio Banderas.

Pura Vida

I was desperate to get out of the city last summer. There was a lot going on, and I really needed to take an emotional and spiritual break. I had wanted to go to Costa Rica for as long as I could remember, and since it was their slow season, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to spend a few days there. None of my friends' schedules could accommodate an impromptu trip to Central America, so I decided to take the trip alone.

I flew into San Jose via Miami, and was only in Costa Rica's capital overnight. I booked a room at Grano de Oro, an old Victorian mansion that has been transformed into a hotel. The next morning, I flew out to Manuel Antonio, a little town that lies on the pacific coast of the country. I had booked a flight on Sansa Airlines, which operates TINY airplanes that fly domestically. Surprisingly, the ride was much smoother than some I've experienced on the big jets. Overlooking the runway and the 'airport' in Quepos,the town closest to Manuel Antonio, I began wondering what I had gotten myself into.



Runway

Quepos Airport


MANUEL ANTONIO
I had read about La Mariposa Hotel in the book, "A Thousand Places to See Before You Die," and decided to stay there. When the bus pulled up to the hotel, I was completely awestruck. I have almost always stayed in 1 or 2 star hotels that were far from breathtaking when traveling abroad. Budget-traveling is usually the case, and I figure hotels are just to shower and sleep. This time, though, I wanted something comfortable and aesthetically pleasing, especially since it was the first time I was in a foreign country by myself. The second I checked in, I was off to the beach.

I experienced the allure of Playa Espadilla purely by chance. I had initially set out to find Playa Manuel Antonio, noted for its calm waters. Espadilla, the neighboring beach, is well-known for its waves and strong current, and because I'd always been terrified of both, I made sure to avoid it at all costs. After a 25-minute downhill hike through unstable dirt roads that were carved into the rainforest, I finally heard the sound of the ocean and knew I was close to what I thought was Playa Manuel Antonio. When I emerged onto the sand, I was blown away by the beach's scenic beauty and kickin' ambiance. It was as if I had stepped onto a Latin-American version of an Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon film. There were countless tire tracks on the sand made by the jeeps parked under the palm trees and surfers waxing their boards. Massive rock formations were strewn around the shore, and a cool, sheer mist was making its way up from the surface. Seeing the height of the waves and noticing their constant breaks, I realized I had stumbled upon the beach I set out to avoid. I don't know if it was the sun, the long haul or the striking scenery, but as I walked along the seemingly endless shore and onto the southern tip where the locals were hanging out, I knew I was there to stay.



After watching with envy as the smallest of children dove into and under the waves, I realized that the only way I would get over my fear and truly enjoy Playa Espadilla was to take surf lessons. I made my way onto the main strip, where the scene was picture perfect. Surfers were enjoying the lazy afternoon, young artists were selling handmade jewelry and live, acoustic music was providing the soundtrack. I came upon Kobe Surf, a shop that doubled as a surfing school, and I signed up for lessons for the following day. The kid behind the counter (he was about 16) said he'd be the one giving me my lesson and I could stop by anytime in the afternoon because he'd just close the shop and his boss would never find out......lovely.

CANOPY SAFARI
I woke up early the next day, since I had signed up for the Canopy Safari Tour in the morning. Initially I thought it would be a lame tourist trap. I've never been so happy to be wrong. A van picked me up at La Mariposa and I was off into the rainforest. Driving there was an adventure in and of itself, as the roads weren't exactly roads--they were just unpaved dirt paths that seemed to go on forever. One of the things I learned in Costa Rica is that there are two types of bridges there: the "Oh My God" bridge and the "Oh Shit" bridge. I dare you not to grip whatever is around as you're passing over them - they are literally planks of wood connecting two masses.



The rest of the ride up into the rainforest was unreal. You forget what the natural world looks like when you're surrounded by enormous steel edifices on a daily basis. After arriving to our camp grounds, we had breakfast and a brief lesson on what to expect. Then, it was time to hike up and start zipping. The walk up to higher ground took about half an hour, and in order to get there we had to step on tree stumps that lined our path. Along the way, I was fortunate enough to witness what the locals referred to as a rare occurrence. Dangling off a leaf high above was a Honduran white bat. Alright.....I could barely see it. The damn thing is only a little bigger than a mouse, and without my glasses I can barely see 10 feet in front of me, let alone dozens of feet above me. From what I hear, however, it was a sight.

We finally reached our post and it was time for my first zip. It's difficult to fully express what it feels like to be flying high above a rainforest, grazing treetops as you zip across a wire hundreds of feet over the ground. The experience is unparalleled and incredibly freeing. The guides encouraged us to let go of the ropes, and I found myself zipping upside down with nothing but trees and mountains beneath me. Waiting for you at the end of the wire is a wooden platform (what they call the canopy) that has been built around the top of the tree trunk - nothing above and nothing beneath. Although you're connected to a wire the entire time, it is somewhat unnerving to stand on this man-made structure with 12 other people. In between zips, we repelled, which is zipping down instead of across.






After the canopy tour, our van picked up our group and we were back on the road. A fresh-looking river piqued our curiosity and we asked the van to pull over so we could go for a swim. A few of the girls had their swimsuits on, but I had left mine back at the hotel. It took little convincing on their part to have me strip down to my underwear and sports bra and jump right in- I knew full-coverage, 100% cotton underwear would have to come in handy one day!





SURFING
Once dropped off, it was time to learn how to surf - or at least attempt to do so. I went over to the surf shop, and as promised, Christian, my instructor, closed the shop in the middle of the day. The waves that afternoon were unlike any I had seen before, and as I made my way onto the beach, I could feel my knees buckling. After a brief sand lesson on technique, paddling and popping up, we were off. Once in the water, my anxiety level spiked and I began second-guessing my decision. My first good wave, however, was coming in and there was absolutely no way of getting out of it. As instructed, I began paddling as fast as I could and tried to get up when Christian yelled to do so. Before I knew it, I was knocked down by the wave and was being dragged and pulled underneath. Five seconds beneath the water felt like an eternity, and the panic I experienced years ago during a similar incident in Mexico began rushing back. When I finally came up for air, Christian told me to shake it off and hurry up because there were more coming in. I had no time to think about what had just happened.

For the rest of the afternoon, I was battered, flipped and submerged countless times. With each fall, I enjoyed it more and more. Finally, I was able to stand up and ride a few times. By the end of the day, I was painfully exhausted but exhilarated at the idea that I had not only conquered my fear, but had found a new sport to pursue. Next step? Surf camp!

Portrait of a Girl

Atop a New York City roof on an unseasonably warm afternoon, my subject stood clad in an authoritative get-up embodying a stoic veneer that seemed tough to crack. During our ensuing dialogue, I would attempt to chisel away at the surface of a soon-to-be well-known face. She tells me that her career is what she does, not who she is. And so, it was time to get to the crux of the matter.

Susie Castillo grew up in a low-income, predominantly Latino neighborhood in Methuen, Massachusetts. Raised by a single-mother who often worked two or three jobs at a time to make ends meet, Susie and her two sisters were encouraged to be strong, independent women with successful careers. "Anything we wanted to do she supported. There were never any limits as to what I could do and what I could achieve. I literally grew up believing I could be anything I wanted." After entering and winning the Miss Massachusetts pageant, she competed for the Miss USA title and in 2003, Susie became the third Latina in history to win the coveted crown. Soon, execs at MTV took notice and in 2005, she became co-host of TRL.

As an MTV VJ, she has interviewed some of the biggest names in the entertainment industry, but it was a certain Bronx-bred celebrity that proved to be the most intimidating interview she has conducted to date. "The first time I met Jennifer Lopez I was shaking. I don't really get star-struck [but] I was star-struck with her. [That's] the career that I'm looking toward for my future. She made it happen."
It is this background and mentality that fuels Susie's ambition and drive. She never tires of the limelight and tells me, "I want to be on the cover of UnChin. I'd rather be on the cover than [only] on the inside." Throughout our conversation, the word 'positive' is dropped countless times, and you get nothing less than what you would expect from a former Miss USA. Her answers are optimistic and energetic, thoughtful and intelligent. She is in person what you see on MTV: A happy, bubbly personality that can flawlessly diffuse an awkward situation or give the nastiest cloud a silver-lining. "I do my best to see the positive in things. I didn't get to where I am now by thinking negatively and adopting negative ways. I try to learn by other people's mistakes."

Being immersed in a celebrity-driven environment has led Susie to wonder about the antics of several media darlings. “You see people like Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan and they’re always in the media for these outrageous things, but usually it’s more for their personal life than their work...... this persona that everybody sees, do they do it on purpose or is that just them, the way they are?”

Although she makes her living in a business that is known for its materialistic ways and shallow endeavors, she is a long-time advocate of cancer and environmental issues, and is fiercely loyal to her family and fiancé, who proposed to her on the 'On-Air with Ryan Seacrest' show. Her career is taking off and her attempt at making a jump into acting are currently in place, having just signed on to play a reporter in the upcoming Disney production of Underdog.

Despite the picture-perfect credentials, I wonder if there is something more raw lying beneath the surface. I still want to get to the core of the woman who says the most rebellious thing she's ever done was pierce her tongue, "just to see what all the fuss was about.”

And just when I thought that what I was seeing was what I was getting, our talk turns to her father, who left the family when Susie was only 6 years old. When I ask her if it’s a relationship she would ever consider reconciling, her eyes squint slightly and I can almost catch a glimpse of the little girl with big dreams growing up in Methuen: “I’ve tried several times to have him back in my life. He’s disappointed me every time. It’s not hard - be a real person. I’m your daughter - you have other daughters. How could you not want to be part of our lives? And he’s made that choice. I certainly didn’t.”

Magazine: UnChin, Issue 06
Location: NYC Rooftop, May 2006