I had a feeling tonight’s show was going to be extra special. I had one of my best friends with me, Nic, who's been a long-time fan and took me to see my first concert. We’d gone to see the shows in Argentina together, but she had not been able to go to any on this tour. Seeing a show without her never felt right, so that alone made it a great start. I got to see a number of people I’ve been lucky to meet through this extraordinary community such as Jez and her friends, as well as the guy I met while on line at Tower, Warren and his buddy Neal. I even got in touch with a friend I hadn’t seen in two years. Although I was engrossed in a number of conversations with everyone, the only thing on my mind was “will they play it tonight?”
Those closest to me know that I have been desperate to hear ‘Indifference’ live. It is, hands down, one of my top favorites - if not THE favorite. Its lyrics, its melody and its symbolism grab me in a way very few songs ever have, possibly with the exception of Nina Simone’s ‘Four Women.’ I won’t divulge the specific reasons behind my fascination with ‘Indifference’, for they are far too personal. But I will say that it was this song that turned me from a casual fan to a I’m-flying-to-a-different-continent-to-see-them fan. It was this song that comforted me when nothing else would and gave me strength when everything else failed.
Obviously this isn’t a rare song and the chances of hearing it were not that bad. But given my late start as a fan, my chances weren’t as great as they could have been in the past. On this tour, it was not played at the shows I attended, so every time I’d see it on another city’s setlist, I’d cringe. And of course, Theo Epstein requests ‘Indifference’ and he gets ‘Indifference’. But I am no Theo Epstein.
The performance was extraordinary from start to finish. After an exhilarating first set, I was ready for them to slow things down a bit in the first encore. If they were going to play it at all tonight, I was expecting it during this set. I was so happy to hear ‘Come Back,’ because its one of Nic’s favorites off the new album and she really wanted to hear it played. I was floored by Footsteps; at the end when I saw Stone switch guitars, I thought it would be really cool to hear ‘Once’ next and then ‘Alive.’ Sure enough, that’s how it happened and I was really excited to have heard the trilogy in reverse.
When they finished ‘Alive’ and walked off after Ed’s very scary slip, I thought my hopes of hearing ‘Indifference’ tonight had ended. For whatever reason, I just figured they’d finish the last set fast and hard. Once ‘Leash’ began, my suspicions were confirmed and I thought, “Ok, here’s hoping to Saturday.” The lights came on and so did ‘Baba O’Riley’. All thoughts of indifference faded and I succumbed to this magical song and the power of seeing everyone in the arena going crazy.
When ‘Baba’ was done, I noticed that Jeff took a seat and thought it was odd that he’d sit during ‘Yellow Ledbetter’. All of a sudden, I heard one note played and it sounded exactly like the opening bass to ‘Indifference’.
“No Way,” I thought. It must be my desire playing tricks on me. But that was in fact what it was. When the song began, my heart sank. It was being played!! As bizarre as it sounds, my hands began to quiver and I got a surge of adrenaline - but a very peaceful one, if such a thing exists. I didn’t know what to do with myself! Do I clap? Do I scream? Do I sing? I was literally shaking. And then I just stood there and soaked it all in and mouthed the lyrics along with thousands of others. When Ed stood back and let the crowd sing “I will scream my lungs out ‘till it fills this room” I got the kind of chills I didn’t think I was capable of getting. Someone said they saw me crying, but that wasn’t true. Ok, it was. They played it just as I had imagined and seeing everyone while it was being sung made it all the more special.
When it was done, I saw Ed gathering his notebook and his wine. I saw the guys waving goodbye, but I couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Surely they were going to close with ‘Yellow Ledbetter’, weren’t they? But where were they going? And that’s when it hit me - what were the chances that this would happen?
With the lights on, my song had just closed the show. Thank you, good night.
