Why Go

Leaving Berlin last week I was reminded that sometimes, the best thing about traveling is coming home. As eager as I was to get back to New York, however, I couldn't help but lament the end of an amazing two weeks traveling abroad, meeting new people and having the time of my life. Oh, and seeing Pearl Jam overseas, documenting fans and their experiences following the band. That was why I went, wasn't it? As I stepped on the plane, the voices of some people back home began resonating in my head. These were the voices of the 'others', as some fans like to call them - those who didn't understand the logic, (or lack there of?!), in following a band all over the world. All they could ask was 'Why?' What they had failed to realize and may never quite fully grasp, is that inevitably, journeys like this never end up being about the band. Seeing Pearl Jam in a 2,000 year old structure, or a town square or in the middle of a forest is only an added bonus.

The real deal is stepping off your porch and running away. And seeing it all. And seeing the world. It's meeting individuals from every corner of the globe, some who seem as if you've known them your whole life, others whose only link to you is an affinity for an album, or a song or one lyric. It's about dancing until dawn in a Prague bar with a New York City neighbor you traveled thousands of miles to meet for the first time. It's about standing in front of the remains of a wall where so many people, who only wanted a taste of freedom, drew their last breath. It's about riding a bus from a small town in Italy to a gorgeous Eastern European country and meeting genuine souls that may or may never cross your path again, thinking it's ok because you had those two nights with them. It's about coming to terms with the fact that your life wasn't meant to be spent at a desk doing meaningless work that leaves you empty and unfulfilled. It's the bluest eyes on the sweetest, most loving boys. It's finally, and at all costs, pursuing your passion.

It's all about that kid who left Mexico City to travel Europe and see his band for several weeks with 140 Euros in his pocket. It's learning that he was left with 40 for the next few weeks and uncertain future plans. Still, he insisted on sharing his food and his snacks. It's his friend - the one you didn't get to know but wanted to, because it's obvious his eyes have a story to tell. It's someone you just met, sitting at the edge of your bed telling you all about his shattered heart as if he had known you forever, trusting that you're the type of person who will understand where he's coming from. It's seeing a girl you connected with right away, falling in love with some one so far away. It's uncontrollable, yet muffled laughter after seeing your hostess' downstairs neighbor strolling around his apartment wearing next to nothing - not wanting to look, but not being able to keep your eyes off of him, either. And it wasn't even pretty. It's really good wine, a crisp evening and cigarette smoke billowing off a dimly-lit balcony.

It's being really lost in translation, especially when you're told to stay on a street always, always, always. It's believing that nothing is "impossible!!!". It's hearing a friend butcher the Italian language and getting lost going to the corner ATM, wondering how he would have survived if he was alone. It's about seeing so many flags from all over the world at shows and thinking of yours. It's craving it when a song protesting a 'leader' gets played and you want to drape it across your back in support --- of the song, not the 'leader.' It's an intense yet intriguing gaze that made you look away. And then back again.

It's seeing that you're not the only one who found strength in words penned by someone who doesn't even know you exist. It's believing 'the You' exists because he penned those same words. It's watching a new, scared friend go off to a foreign city alone, knowing that the only way she will really understand herself is if she goes with herself.

I can go on and on about the experiences that shape a trip, but I have to save some for the next one, whenever and wherever that may be.

So......why go? Because sometimes you just can't stay, baby ;)

yours truly, deeply, madly,
wanda